Parenting Plee

I think us as parents want our kids to have everything in the world, or give our kids more than what we had to make them happy.  But what happens when we do that? I feel like we get entitled children, and ungrateful children!  Maybe I have gone about it all wrong.  I have tried teaching my kids responsibility, given them jobs and payed them for taking part in the family, and then when they have asked for stuff, I told them they needed to use their own money. So why do they continue to not value things or privileges we have given them?  Maybe they need more responsibility?  Maybe then need more love?  Maybe they need more consequences?  I really don't have the answer, but I do know is that I want my kids to be grateful children, less fighting, more responsibility, because I feel like if we can accomplish that, then there is greater reward.
After a morning of tantrums and issues with Christmas countdowns, I decided I was not going to be their mom for the morning. I made them get themselves ready, ie, breakfast, lunches, hair, teeth! The whole shebang, I thought, I need to make them do this for themselves more often, but then a part of me feels guilty that I  am not being a good mom, but then I realized, I am because I am teaching them to be self sufficient.  Now, I still think I will make their breakfast, because I want to be with them in the morning and make sure they start their day of right.  But I do think I will let them make their own lunches.  When my 7 year old left this morning he couldn't find his lunch box, he used his little thinking cap and ended up using a plastic bag instead to  contain his food because he couldn't find his lunch box.  I was proud of Callie and Curran though because even though they had free rair for their lunch, they still packed a regular lunch, with a sandwich, chips, fruit, etc.  I was proud of that.  It's another moment I realized I have taught them something and it actually stuck.  I also was proud that they were panicking to make sure they got out the door in time for school so they weren't late. 
Anyway, my point to all of this is I don't think we will ever have all of the answers, but we need to be grateful for what we do have, and that it's ok to let go sometimes as moms and not worry that our kids went to school in mis matched clothes or a little bit unruly hair.  It is teaching our kids responsibility and to be self sufficient and think for themselves.  And we don't need to feel guilty for not doing everything for our kids, in the end I feel like we are doing them more favors by letting them choose and learn from their choices, we just need to coach them along.